Cemil is feeling tired...

Man my blood sugar problem is really starting to kill me. I bull rushed through 2 chapters over the weekend but didn't actively realise that I basically just wrote 1 chapter and split them into 2 just to make it look like I did more work. I actually did write 2 chapters and they were decent enough I suppose, but my normal chapter length is 3500-4000 words. I wrote 2000 a pop.

I can fill those out though no problem.

But man, this blood sugar thing is killing my drive to work. My ability to concentrate - it's all shot to tell.

Oh well. ALSO in my novel class last night I think half the class stared daggers of death at me. I was telling them about my work experience and we were talking about how to write a submission for your novel. All well and good and the teacher asks me the question:

Were you in a position to reject their submissions? And I answered straight away: Yes. And I rejected most of them.

Dead silence. Eye lasers hit my face.

Someone asked me why and the reality of it was, that most of the submissions I saw were total shit penned by people who thought they could do what I do professionally on the weekend between their regular day jobs. Writing is not a game, it's not a thing for hacks to pick up and glut the industry with. But the reality is that they do and they do it by the truckload and it's total ratshit.

What people don't realise is that writing is one of the hardest, most grueling processes you can put yourself through. It takes determination and a fine understanding of craft. An understanding that can take years to develop - I've been professionally trained to do this and I have a lot of things to learn about this gig.

But the only thing that is clear about the writing biz is that it's a lot of hard yards with almost no payoff until the end. And maybe, just maybe, you'll become the next big thing. That's the career I've chosen. I'm probably never going to be rich or famous or anything. But god damn it I am going to get published. I am going to get my book done. And I am going to become an editor.